I went home to Minneapolis for a few days while hanging out in the Midwest. While visiting my alma mater MCAD I realized that the comic kids now are basically the same as when I went to school. I compiled a list of irritating and perpetually reoccurring things that these kids do.
Comic Art Student pet peeves:
1. “Drawing with charcoal all big doesn’t teach you a thing about comics” you can not like drawing all big and stuff- but large scale observation drawing teaches you about how things sit in space and how people and objects fit together. So bullshit it doesn’t teach you about comics. Stfu, draw more.
2. “Art history doesn’t teach you anything about comics.” Sorry kid, comic books are not an island. You’re part of the PARADE OF TIME. Stop being so fucking ignorant.
3. “It’s not wrong, it’s my STYLE”. Ok, dude. Your “style” is to have misshaped, unobserved anatomy and jacked ass story telling? Just because it’s the all hallowed “Art” doesn’t mean your ass can’t be judged. I’m not even important and I can judge the fuck out of you. Stfu, draw more.
4. “My teacher doesn’t teach me anything.” Too bad. Learn to ask better questions, or get other teachers. Learning how to make art is on you, not them.
5. Showing your portfolio at a party is like showing up naked on a first date. The people MIGHT like what they see but you are such a whore they don’t give a shit.
6. Putting down other artists, editors, or publishers is fucking rude. NO. Be Polite.
7. You are not your art. Grow some thick skin and deal with negative comments.
8. Child, wash yourself!
9. Neck beards (you know, when the cheeks are shaved and the neck is full on? Usually comes with a trench coat and possibly a katana?) are not only Virginity Shields but also Editor Repellent. Shave. It. Off. NOW.
10. I really don’t care how busy you are. You still have to have pages newer then six months in your portfolio for me to believe you are not lazy.
11. No one THINKS they have bad manners. But there are a shit ton of rude ass people out there: accept that you MIGHT be one of those socially awkward people- and as a comic book industry hopeful let’s just say it’s a lot more likely then the rest of the general population. Read a book on etiquette and apply some. Is it lame? Sure. But that’s better then alienating a room full of strangers that might have given you money later.
12. Being “indie” is not an excuse for bad art. Stfu, draw more.
13. Ugly drawing is not bad comics. Bad story telling is bad comics- so no attitude, Mr. FineArt-major-slumming-it-comics-class! you suck too.
14. Before walking out of your hotel to a convention- stop and look in the mirror. Ask the following questions:
A. Have forgotten to bathe or shave today?
B. Does my shirt have a cuss word on it?
C. Are my clothes stained? Even a little?
D. Is my shirt made of silk and sold at hot topic? Any little dragons or spidermans on it?
E. Am I wearing a kilt?
F. Am I wearing cat ears and not being ironic?
G. Do I have gut leakage? (is my belly waving hello from under my tshirt)
H. Can I see my underpants or tits?
I. Am wearing sweatpants?
Any “yes” means you should change. And don’t start with that “if they don’t like me for me” bullshit. You are not representing yourself through your dragon screen printed silk shirt. You are creeping people out. Go home and dress however goofy you want.